What is a Kink?

What is a Kink?

First and foremost, I must give credit to the 50 Shades Series for its (not so subtle) introduction of softcore erotica to the mainstream. It brought the idea of kink to the forefront of every bedroom in America. 

What could be more thrilling than reading about sexual encounters that pleasurably challenged the constraints of vanilla sex? Especially when it is still so taboo to talk about in the real world?

‘Kink’ is a broad term that refers to a wide variety of peculiar sexual practices or fantasies. This includes anything that challenges traditional sexual and sensual behaviors. One important thing to note is that kinky sex is not abusive sex. Kink is consensual. Always communicate your needs, likes and dislikes when engaging in kinky activities. 

Now onto the fun stuff!



“Kink”  is an all inclusive term that refers to a wide variety of consensual, non-traditional sexual behaviors such as bondage, sadomasochism, domination and submission, sensual roleplaying, fetishism, and erotic forms of discipline. A “fetish” is a need or desire for an object, body part, or activity for sexual excitement. Ergo, a fetish is a type of kink. And there are many more where they came from. There are over 25 different kinks out there! Let's dabble in some of them.





Role playing is one of the most common kinks experienced by sexual partners. It typically involves one or both partners playing characters outside of their day-to-day lives as part of a sexual fantasy. 


BDSM is an all encompassing acronym that represents several different aspects of the kink. B/D stands for for bondage and discipline; D/S stands for domination and submission; and S/M are for sadism and masochism. Engaging in BDSM involves a consensual power exchange between the dominant and the submissive. There has been explicit expression of the rules and boundaries to be abided by. 



If you enjoy watching porn, or listening it to it, voyeurism may be your kink. Voyeurism is getting sexual excitement from watching others when they are naked or engaging in sex acts.


If you get off on the thought of someone watching you during your most vulnerable, and sensual moments, you may be an exhibitionist. Exhibitionism is a sexual kink in which a person feels sexual arousal at the idea or reality of being seen naked or engaged in sexual activities by others. 


Having a gag kink can mean that you're either turned on by wearing a gag, making your partner wear a gag, or both. Kinksters who are into being gagged enjoy being at the mercy of someone else. 



Impact play refers ton any activity like spanking, paddling, or caning. Psychology has discovered that being hit in a consensual, erotic context releases endorphins, which can give partakers an addictive rush.



Foot fetishes range from the sexual desire to touch, lick, or see feet during sex to worshiping someone's feet through sensual acts as a means of submission.


A sadist is someone who (with consent) gets sexual pleasure out of inflicting physical pain or psychological humiliation on their partner.

A masochist is someone who gets sexual pleasure out of receiving pain or humiliation.

While there are aspects of dominance and submission within an S&M relationship, Dominant and submissive relationships do not have to include S&M into their play. 


Also known as urophilia (or more laxly, watersports), Golden showers is a kink of those who are sexually aroused by urination. Kinksters who dabble in these watersports may find sexual enjoyment in peeing on or in different body parts, wetting clothing, or making a partner hold in their pee as part of fantasy play.


Cuckolding is a form of erotic humiliation that involves one partner (generally, a male) getting off on the sight, knowledge, or thought of their partner having sex with someone else. Typically, this individual is considered "traditionally" more masculine than the "cuck."


Despite mainstream media's poor representation of BDSM, consent is always the number one rule. Without consent, there should be no practice. Partners who engage in BDSM, and other kinky related activities should always maintain and encourage open, honest communication with their partner/s. This helps to foster a greater sexual experience (through trust and vulnerability) and above average psychological health. 

It is often encouraged for partners to create safe words that are used during play. These designated words are used by a partner to communicate their physical or emotional state, typically when approaching, or crossing, a physical, emotional, or moral boundary. It is important that these words are highlighted prior to engaging in any play.


It's important to address your partner's physical and emotional needs after a night of kink-related activities. Major hormones are released during acts of BDSM, that if not supported on the come down, can lead to adverse feelings. Aftercare provides support and functions as a ‘recalibration’ for the normalcy of your relationship.

Simple acts such as kissing or caressing parts of your partner's marked body can help them feel affection and comfort.


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